The World is a Stage, and People are Actors

 Recently, I got a job. Now I’m a security guard. Last night, my work partner picked me up, and we drove from Winnipeg to a small town far north. The journey was long and tiring, especially for my partner, who had to drive the whole way since company policy doesn’t allow me to drive the service vehicle with a learner’s permit. We talked a bit on the way, but it was enough for me to see him as a good person.

When we arrived in the town, we went straight to the shopping center, which was our assignment. It was located in the center of the town, and although the shopping center was quite small, for this town, it was enormous—so enormous that about a third of the space was completely unused. There were a few stores, a pharmacy, a city office, and a school with a gym. Probably, there are no other stores in this town. I was surprised that the pharmacy sold alcohol besides medicines and some goods barely related to pharmacy—I was told it’s the only point of sale for alcohol in town, despite the very limited selection. Then came the routine of settling into temporary housing since we arrived for two weeks. After that, we returned to the site, took over the shift, and my partner briefed me since he’d been working there for two years and knew the ropes. In the evening, when I lay down in bed after a sleepless night, falling asleep was very pleasant. I slept for ten hours, and although I woke up in the morning before the alarm, I fell back asleep quickly.
Today was my first full working day as a security guard at the town’s shopping center. I spent a lot of time and energy memorizing various internal rules and getting to know the employees, whose names I almost completely forgot—I’ve always had trouble remembering names. I also managed to pay some attention to the shopping center’s visitors. Most of them were very unhappy people; it was evident in everything: their clothing and how they wore it, their tidiness, body shape, behavior, gait, facial expressions, and gaze. Some people had the full package, as if they’d lost all their humanity, but the saddest part was that some children, aged ten to thirteen, looked very similar to them. Unfortunately, bad examples often appeal more to kids. There were also good people who seemed to have gone through many hardships but retained their dignity and strengthened their spirit. My partner told me that this town was founded by gold prospectors because there was, and apparently still is, gold here. But now, some company is mining the gold, and the local people are only looking for alcohol at the local pharmacy. I think that when gold mining stopped, people who were ready for change left, while those who lacked the courage to leave this place due to various sentimental attachments and fears stayed and passed on their fear of change from generation to generation. There’s no future for people who live in the past.
Although I’ve already written a lot, only now am I getting to the main thought for which I “took up the pen.” My partner and I were discussing how involved a shopping center security guard can be in the life of a small town without it affecting his work or himself. He said he listens to people, and sometimes they warn him that someone under the influence of alcohol or something else might come to the shopping center, so he should be careful. He also said that with such problematic individuals, it’s better to act peacefully and say something like, “Buddy, I understand you’ve had a bad day, I don’t want to argue with you, just go home and sleep it off.” I understand why that’s also right, but I couldn’t agree with it as a security guard. I said that the moment he listened to people who told him about a possible problematic visitor, he stopped being objective because now he’d look at that person not only through the lens of his own stereotypes and beliefs but also considering the words of the people who told him about it, who in turn had made their own conclusions about the problematic person. I said that in that case, he couldn’t objectively assess the situation as a security guard and follow his duties. Moreover, if he tries to get rid of him that way and succeeds, the unfortunate person who’s embarked on a path of self-destruction and is trying to drown in alcohol and his problems might see in him a ray of light radiating understanding, sympathy, and support—even though it’s not really that, as he just wanted to send him away. And when this person comes again, he’ll expect more sympathy and understanding; he’ll try to befriend you, but since you don’t need that at all, you’ll try to get rid of such friendship, which he’ll certainly notice and, with complete incomprehension of why you abandoned him, will go on another binge, only this time even more desperately. Probably due to my poor English, my partner didn’t grasp the full essence of what I wanted to convey, but I didn’t want to try explaining it again because he said something that made me think. He said it’s better to do as he says because a drunk person is a dangerous person, and if you tell him you’re going to call the police and start dialing, he might stab you. Since our only means of self-defense are a bulletproof vest and bare fists, the situation isn’t in our favor, and considering that the nearest decent hospital is hundreds of kilometers away, the chances of survival are slim, and he has a child he doesn’t want to leave without a father.
Here, I saw a line… A line that subtly but boldly and mercilessly cut through his role as a security guard. It was a bright line where there was no place for the banal fear for his life; he wanted to protect his child from a life without a father. This line was the boundary of another role, much more important to him—the role of a father. Now I understand what the expression “The world is a stage, and people are actors” means. We all play many different roles and rarely think about which ones are truly important and which ones burden and exhaust us so much that, if we don’t have the strength to drop this burden, we try to forget and detach from it, leading to new roles like alcoholic, drug addict, criminal, or suicide.
I started thinking about what roles I play, how they intersect, how they interact with each other, which roles overshadow others, how many I have… Son, friend, partner, employee, citizen, immigrant, traveler, driver, gamer, tenant, owner… human. But that’s just a small part; which ones are the most important, how many different roles do I not notice, how deep can I go in search of the most important, single role for which I’m willing to sacrifice all the others?